Whenever I was burnt out, a big part of me gets really sad and disoriented. However, recently I feel like I've changed. I was suffering through another burnout, and I feel horrible as usual. But I decided to take my mind off things and watch some shows.

I saw this show called "Pantheon." (I'm going to talk about some spoilers, so if anybody is reading this and doesn't want them, now is the time to ignore this blog)

I thought it was some show about Greek gods because of the name. I was mildly interested, so I gave it a watch. I had a very little idea of what to expect, but it's a very fun show. It aligned with a lot of my interests (immortality, transhumanism, determinism, etc.) and for a moment while watching the show I thought I was done with art and making comics. Not because the show is perfect (as excellent as it was for me, I'm sure it has some flaws), but because I kind of got what I wanted. It's got almost everything that I wanted to put in my own works, but way better. First of all, it's finished. It's got cool action, great setting, very nice characters, and a very entertaining story.

I remember talking a few months ago about the movie "Alien" and how it does what I want to do, but way better. My sentiment about Pantheon is similar, but I guess the difference is I had similar ideas with Alien that I thought would be fun explored in my own comic. But with Pantheon, it's the things that I want to see in a story.

I wasn't really upset that for a moment, I thought that I don't have to make any comics anymore. Though part of me was sad, I was content with it.

The ending was what really got me, not because it was something so profound and life-changing (though I'd say it is, at least for me), but because of what was going through with me and how I related to it.

Unlike Maddie, (or any character in that show) I am not immortal. However, I could really use a lot of time to achieve my dreams. But only after finishing that show made me think about what to do after achieving my dreams. I may be shallow, but when I finished the show, that was my dream that was just fulfilled. There was nothing going forward for me anymore. Creatively speaking.

That was when I realized that all I'm really doing was chasing a dream, thinking that I'd be happy when I get there. I really like Pantheon not because of how it ended, but because of how it got there. The journey being more important than the destination is something that I know, but could not understand. Until now, I think. I didn't really consider burnout as a bad thing, it's natural to be tired. But it is horrible and a halt to progress. But it's also the reason that I got what I wanted. Never have I thought that I would get to the destination that I'm climbing towards in a place away from it. Or maybe I was looking at a treasure map without knowing where I am in the first place. "Now is the best place to be" is also a quote that comes to mind. There's a lot of things to be said.

Anyways, now that I've achieved my dream, I guess I can take as many detours as I want now. Make as many comics as I want without the feeling of a futile pursuit.